Should We Let Our Kids Fail More?

The other day, PJ sent me an Instagram post while I was in the grocery store. (Isn’t that always when the good stuff hits?) The post was about how kids today don’t get enough chances to fail, and how badly we as parents are sheltering them. It pointed out that many children have never used a sharp knife, played in the front yard without a parent, talked to a neighbor alone, walked or biked anywhere without an adult, or just been left to figure something out on their own.

And it stopped me in my tracks.

Because on one hand, of course we want our kids to grow up with grit. We want them to be able to think for themselves, take risks, try and fail, and learn to get back up again. That’s where confidence comes from. But on the other hand, the instinct to protect them is so strong. Isn’t part of our job to keep them safe from harm?

What really struck me was the comment section under the post. A lot of parents said things like, “Sure, my kids haven’t used a knife, but they also haven’t been abducted.” It was such a blunt but fair reminder: protecting them works, too. At what point to we let our guard down enough for life to just happen to them, the same way it did for us growing up?

So where’s the line?

We live within walking distance of our kids’ school, and part of me thinks it would be so good for them to walk there on their own (our oldest is in 5th and it’s his last year there before going to middle school). To feel independent and proud. But then my brain immediately goes to the what ifs. It’s such a tricky dance, letting them build resilience without feeling like you’re putting them at risk.

Maybe the real question isn’t, Should we let our kids fail more? but How do we let them fail safely?

I’m curious: how do you handle this with your kids? Do you give them little bits of independence, or are you more of a cautious parent?