Happiness vs. Wholeness: The Kind of Day We Normally Wouldn't Post About
I have found, most of the time, real life is way more interesting and eventful than any book or movie out there. Such was the case yesterday.
Note: I wrote this post at 9p and as soon as I stopped typing, I fell asleep on the couch with my computer in my lap. Clearly I was just tired after a very, very long day :).
It was the kind of day we wouldn’t normally post on Instagram or Facebook or the blog. That’s not to say we don’t share hard days on social media (because if you’ve been following for a while you know we do), but it was just a frustrating, real life kind of day, and doesn’t it seem like social media is mostly reserved for the good highlights of your life, not the mundane and the difficult ones? That’s another topic for a different day, but I would love to dive into that more and change that somehow.
PJ started some new medication for an issue he talked about in our latest vlog (the comments have been SO helpful!!), and as the side effects started to kick in, he was sore all day and felt extremely lethargic. He’s also been working nonstop on the farm every day, so I think that was a big factor, too. He stayed home all day and rested on the couch while catching up on The Handmaid’s Tale, and I’m so glad he did. He works so dang hard and needs a rest every now and then.
Meanwhile, our 2nd oldest dog (and our smallest) Jolie, who turned 10 this year, has been dry heaving and coughing the last three days. Along with that, yesterday I came inside and found her laying on the floor on her side whining, and she’s since lost her balance and fallen over three more times (almost like a seizure, but not quite that severe). It was scary and awful and the thought of losing her, our original baby that we’ve loved for all these years, makes me nauseated.
We called our vet’s office but they couldn’t get her in until Friday. Knowing we couldn’t wait that long, we called three more vets in town until we finally reached one who said they would see her ASAP. Since PJ wasn’t feeling well, older brother and I took her in so they could check her out.
They said she would be fine (thank goodness), but that she has heart issues, so they put her on three medications, two of which she will have to be on forever. I felt relief knowing she will be okay and that she still has a few more years. However, the thought of having to keep up with two more medications every day, after having to give little brother medicine twice a day (for a condition we’ve never discussed publicly), sounds overwhelming in the most minuscule way. I know it’s such a small task, but it’s like it’s just one more thing to keep track of. Still, I would give her medication five times a day if it meant keeping her alive for as long as possible, so really I’m just venting right now. Remember, it was one of those days.
When we got home, I was in the office working while the kids were eating lunch and sis got up to get more water, something she’s been doing all by herself lately as she stands as tall as she can on her tiptoes. And then I hear a bang and a gasp and a “(little sis) spilled her water!” coming from the dining room. I go in to find she somehow not only spilled the water all over the floor, but also on top of her head and her shirt and her face. Poor thing. She was soaked from head to toe and felt so bad. I was frustrated at first, but once I took a breath I told her everything was okay and accidents happen; cleaned her up and changed her clothes and she sat back down to finish her lunch.
As I made my way back into the office to finish working, I stepped in something wet on the rug in the front room. For a split second I wondered how little sis’ water fiasco made its way all the way to the front room, but then I remembered that makes no sense and quickly considered another scenario. I am always expecting anything wet on the floor to be pee with two dogs and a cat living inside the house, so I smelt it and sure enough…it was dog pee. One of the side effects of the medication Jolie is on is that she will be a lot more thirsty and have to pee more frequently. My guess is she couldn’t hold it in and went on the rug. Again I say: poor thing :(.
I finally finished working for the day around 7:30p and got out of the house to pick up some dinner for us since this was definitely not going to be a cooking night. Where had the time gone?
Like I said at the beginning of this post, real life is often so much messier and all over the place than what we watch on TV. And especially more so than what we as humans post on social media. I am choosing to look at today as just a normal day in the life of a family of five with young kids. Unpredictable, challenging, difficult, frustrating, wonderful, and…ours. Today was ours. This life is ours.
A good thing about today? Sis didn’t go pee in her big girl panties ONCE; she went in the potty all day, which I honestly think is a first for her! How amazing is that? Also, knowing she doesn’t feel well, Meryl has been extra sweet to Jolie all day, laying with her in her bed and checking on her, and currently burying her nose into Jolie’s neck as they both are cuddled up on the couch beside me while I write.
After my quick late-night nap on the couch, I woke up and we all went upstairs to brush our teeth and get our jammies on. By the end of the night, all five of us were in the kids’ bathroom rolling around on the floor laughing for no reason other than we were all tired and had had a long day. Their smiles and laughs are so infectious. Nothing like a right-before-bed laughing session to end the day on a high note, right? ❤️
Days like today seem more frequent lately, but how we respond to them is what ultimately makes up the quality of our life. I’m finding more and more that in the moment I’m so frustrated at life’s mishaps, but when enough time has passed and I have a moment to really think about it, I realize I am grateful for it all. The ups and the downs, the good and the bad, the easy and the difficult.
Because in the end, we’re all striving for wholeness, not necessarily happiness, right?