A very common thing where we live in the south is to make small talk with complete strangers. Or co-workers in the elevator. Or anywhere, with anyone, really.
It usually starts off with something along the lines of: “It’s cold out there today.” or “How was your weekend?” or simply, “How’s it going?” and then, like clockwork, they completely tune out because they never really cared in the first place, they just asked because, well, that’s just what you do.
I hate small talk. Loathe it. Despise it. Dread it. In fact, it’s one of the things I miss the least about working in an office setting. These days, the only small talk I make is with our animals and I quite enjoy that. They respond to me with loving glances and big puppy dog eyes, so I could small talk with them all day.
But if I’m in line at the store and someone tries to talk to me about the weather, count me out. I immediately don’t know what to say other than to awkwardly laugh and shake my head yes. I would rather do pretty much anything else or be anywhere else than participate in it. Do you know what I mean?
But why do I get so uncomfortable with small talk? Am I actually an introvert at heart?
Psychologist Laurie Helgoe says that “Introverts hate small talk because it creates a barrier between people.” She also explains that small talk can feel “superficial” and that “polite discussion prevents openness, so people don't learn about each other.”
I suppose that’s why I don’t enjoy it so much? I love deeper, more interesting conversations with meaning, or even if they’re of no substance, at least pointless conversations with people I know and care about. But pointless conversations, no matter how polite they may be, with complete strangers? No thank you very much.
What about you? Do you like small talk? Or do you loathe it like I do, too?