Do you and your partner deliberately find ways to annoy each other?
That sort of sounds ridiculous, until you stop and actually think about it. You know everything about them: what brings them joy, what makes them laugh, and what reeeeeeally gets on their nerves. With all that knowledge, you know just the right things to say to get under their skin and potentially set them off. It’s almost like a secret weapon that’s locked up and only you have the key for. But why would you ever want to use it?
You wouldn’t, at least in theory. We suppose it comes with time, and experiencing and sharing a life together that you accumulate this knowledge of how to get under their skin, and it’s something you should never actively do. Sometimes, though, it happens without us even realizing it. Sometimes we don’t know what annoys our S.O. until they point it out to us.
That’s where communication in the relationship is key. That’s when you let them know that what they do, whether it's intentional or not, is bothering you and, hopefully, they understand your wishes and do what they can to change it. It’s best to let them know in a respectful way, using the “when you, I feel” approach. Basically, “When you do this, I feel this.” That way, you’ve made your feelings known, in a valid and understandable way, and it’s now up to them to make the necessary changes.
As for what gets on our nerves that neither of us intentionally do? Well, here are the first two that come to mind:
- Thomas is constantly clearing his throat. We’re not sure why, but he always feels like there’s something in it that he has to get out, so, about every 20 mins or so he will make this noise that drives PJ nuts. PJ calls it a “tick”, but Thomas swears there’s something in there every time haha.
- When PJ brushes his teeth and spits into the sink, he doesn't rinse the sink bowl out, so his spit + toothpaste just sits in the sink. We can't tell you how many times Thomas has told him to rinse it out, but alas, PJ keeps (allegedly) forgetting ;).
So with any relationship, you're always bound to discover little things here and there that really irritate your partner. It's up to you whether or not to use them intentionally, do your best to correct them, or keep claiming innocent. And maybe, if you're lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it!), you'll continue to discover new things that annoy your S.O. for many years to come.
What about you? What things do you do that annoy your significant other? AND, are they intentional or by accident? ;)