Why I Don’t Follow the Golden Rule in Our Marriage(and What I Do Instead)

We couldn’t be more different.

One night last week, we spent three hours at our daughter’s basketball tournament and got home late, ate dinner, and put the kids to bed. PJ looked at me and shrugged, saying, “Ugh I do NOT feel like working out right now.” He’s doing a monthly challenge where he does these 10 min HIIT workouts (in addition to his daily gym workouts) right before we settle in to watch TV, and he’s been extremely dedicated to them, never missing a night.

When he told me that, I immediately responded with, “Yeah I wouldn’t either! Don’t do it tonight, let’s just make popcorn and watch a movie.” Because that is exactly what I would want him to say to me.

But here’s the thing. He’s not me. So what works for me, doesn’t work for him. He wanted someone to say, “Hell no. Get your butt in there and do the damn workout.”

This is a prime example of why, in my experience, you should never follow The Golden Rule. Don’t treat people how you would like to be treated, because everyone is different and what works for you may not work for someone else. Treat them how you think THEY want to be treated.

I started laughing when I realized what I had done, and will remember next time that just because I hate working out doesn’t mean everyone else does, too. So now, PJ is doing his nightly workout in the living room, I’m making popcorn in the kitchen, and we’re both ending the night happy.

So, the moral of the story is: forget the Golden Rule, and life will be much smoother for everyone. xoxo